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by wendy beth cohen

Onward and Upward: Love Online

1992: 161 lbs -- 2005: 261 lbs

(Story continued from our Premiere Issue --
first installment, second installment)

After being perplexed for several weeks thereafter, I met another handsome well established chap online.  I told him that after 26 years I had finally lost my virginity and he responded by saying, “Why, were you a fat chick in high school?”  I was floored.  He knew. I wanted to say, "Yes and still am." Instead, I told him I was heavy in high school and left it at that...

Then fear set in -- I thought he was going to start bashing “Fat chicks,” and all these nightmare scenarios popped into my head!  Instead, he said, “It's amazing how we hold onto things kids said when we were so young.”  I was impressed with his sensitivity and maturity.  He then proceeded to tell me that he liked all kinds of women and that he definitely enjoys curvier women.  We talked for several nights about this until 4 o'clock in the morning.  Finally feeling comfortable, I told him about my curves.  

When we spoke on the phone, he said that I had some unique qualities that he hadn’t found in New York women -- I was honest, kind, and pretty.   He also really wanted to meet me and I happily obliged.  We decided we would meet and go to a movie.  When we met in person, he gave me the greatest compliment of my life! He said, “You are more beautiful in person then in your picture.  Did you ever consider, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, becoming a plus-size model?”  I was beaming with  pride.  I felt validated as a  woman.  He then proceeded to tell me that if I ever decided to lose weight that I should consider regular modeling -- that made me feel just as beautiful.  We ended up having a heated evening, but again there was a lack of chemistry. 

After seven weeks of mourning the loss of that friendship, I met a man who changed my life forever.  I received a heartfelt email from what seemed like a well-learned individual. Upon reading his profile, i was ecstatic that this guy was my age. He sounded like everything I wanted in a romantic mate. Also, from his photo, I could see that he was a runner.


I agreed to continue to foster the friendship and over the course of four days we proceeded to write/email/im for nearly 12 hours a day.  I never spoke about music or movies with the other guys -- this guy seemed genuinely interested in me as a person.   He persisted in trying to meet me. I always deflected the subject. 

NOTE: It was during this time that my family and I had life-altering conversations about the state of my health and whether or not I should proceed with drastic weight loss efforts such as lap-banding. Doctors urged me to fix my head first by making behavioral changes because that would determine my success if I proceeded to lose weight on my own or with the surgery.  It was an emotional time for me -- I had no job, and I was seriously considering this potentially fatal yet potential “Answer-to-my-dreams” procedure.

BACK ONLINE: After our 4th day of talking, I received the sweetest text message from him.  It read, “Still sure you don’t want to meet? I got a cup of coffee and a big smile with your name on it.  Besides I look cute today.”  

After again postponing and changing the subject to this very nice offer, I finally revealed to him that my insecurities.  He replied that last year he weighed 320 pounds.  I nearly passed out on the dirty New York City sidewalk!  Here I had been trying to hide my insecurity and he experienced it first hand.  He lived my dream.  I had to meet him. 

Stay tuned for the next installment!

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about wendy beth cohen

Wendy has worked as a Fashion Sales Executive for well-known women's apparel brands. While at Tahari, she turned a childhood dream into reality by managing and growing a plus-size suit division. Currently, she works for DKNY Jean’s Men’s division as a sales analyst. She majored in Entrepreneurship and Marketing at Babson College, MA. And in June 2000, Entrepreneur Magazine named her one of the "Leaders of the next generation of entrepreneurs." Wendy, a lover of good times, good friends and good company, as well as savory New York City meals, lives in Manhattan.

wendy beth cohen

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