So dealing with my breasts has never been a joy. I would like to have a drawer full of bras that fit so I never have to go shopping where I watch them spill out of the biggest size in the store and go home settling on the best worse choice. But I also hated going to those specialty stores where the sales women poked, plumped and measured me making me feel like the prize heifer in the country fair.

I have been on a multi-decade hunt for the perfect bra, so when my supportive twenty something daughter saw a blurb on a store in a New York newspaper called BRATENDERS she pushed me to call. And good thing because you MUST have an appointment. According to Alan Kaplan a cofounder with his wife, Lori  "You need an appointment because we give each client total attention and we serve ALL of the theatrical community from opera to Broadway to TV and films. If there is a need for undergarments we are the go to shop.”

Well I had no big show biz contract, but still I made my appointment. Yet as I made my way reluctantly uptown everything in my being screamed CANCEL!!! I didn’t cancel partly because the $50 deposit fee kept my feet to the fire, but also because I was desperate for bras.

I entered the incredible space on the sixth floor of the Film Center on Ninth Avenue and 45 Street and all my anxiety melted away. The store is brightly lit, a friendly kitty curls at your feet, the merchandise hangs floor to ceiling in glorious splendor and the specialist Rachel takes you by the hand and glides you into the fitting room.

OK the moment of truth. I had to take off my shirt and have her gasp at my ill-fitting bra. Rachel is not a tiny slip of a girl herself and she told me I needed to throw my bra into the trash and let her have at me. She sized me up, no strange measuring and airport strip searches; she just eyeballed me and was on her way. She returned with a bra I thought fit better than anything I had ever seen, but Rachel was not satisfied. “ I am looking for better lift, less drag on the shoulders and a softer form.”

Wow I thought if it covered and held “the girls” (as I lovingly referred to them) back even a little that I was on Easy Street.  Rachel proffered a beautiful black lace bra that felt like a dream. She had me put on my shirt, which all of a sudden glided over me and buttoned as if I had lost a bundle.

“AH now this is a fit!’ She cooed.

It turns out my breasts are now a 38 DDDDD or 38 H. The pronouncement was very depressing. This final reality announces there will be no more shopping with girl friends for a cute bra at a cheap store; it is another relegation of the not slim woman to a special corner and of course that place is uber expensive. Each bra was over $100, well worth it mind you, but still a big hit to the wallet.

However as I rode my bike home I noticed I was so comfortable; bumps were barely noticeable and when I arrived back downtown I didn’t have to do my usual adjusting of the breasts. Everything stayed put and my husband greeted me with, “Wow baby you look great, did you get a facial, where did you go?”

I deftly revealed my new lacey creation and he ooed and ahhed. “But this bra is a size 38 H, H for horrible.” Ever the optimist, and my biggest supporter, Zac said, “Hey why not H for HANDFUL or HONEY that’s how I think about it.”

It does seem that breasts are in favor in my house even if sometimes I miss the beauty and focus instead on the difficulty of buying clothes. For the moment BRATENDERS has given me a new, slimmer silhouette, one that is better to dress and great for hugging.

 

When you are In New York City, check them out: BRATENDERS 630 Ninth Avenue, NYC NY 10036 Suite 601 You MUST CALL for an appointment 212 957 7000 Or on the web you can log onto:  www.bratenders.com

 

about author wickham boyle