Java Love, Coffee Kisses
1992: 161 lbs -- 2005: 261 lbs
(Story continued from our Premiere Issue --
first installment, second installment, third installment)
I thought this was destiny. I warned him that I was wearing my gym clothes because I was going to the gym after we met. Seeing him waiting outside for me at Starbucks on a gloomy rainy day and running up into his arms and hugging for what must have been 10 minutes was truly a momentous experience. At that moment, I needed to see my dream, the weight loss and the potential romance combined.
He was a very handsome guy, slim yet muscular. I would never have known he was heavy. We held hands and talked non-stop the entire hour we were in Starbucks. He showed me a picture of his former self on his driver’s license and proceeded to tell me how he lost the weight and how his ex-girlfriend did too. Apparently his girlfriend had been a size 24 (same as me at that time) and went down to a size 16 and was able to shop in regular contemporary size clothing stores. My dream! They both lost weight thru a low-fat diet and exercising daily.
We kissed and hugged outside Starbucks losing track of time. He told me that he never did that before upon meeting someone for the first time and I said neither had I. He walked me to the gym and kissed me on the lips. It was the nicest possible way to go to the gym. I invited him to watch a movie later if he wanted. He would be running a mini-marathon the next day. I told him to take his time to decide. He called me later...
We watched “Road Trip” and laughed at the scene where the overweight girl gets intimate with the skinny geek. He kissed me gently on the forehead as if to say it will be okay, you are beautiful. He made me feel so comfortable. As the night proceeded I never experienced sweeter kisses or such genuine care. To date, the night was the most romantic night of my life.
He invited me to breakfast the next morning after his run and we enjoyed a day of walking on 5th Avenue and through Central Park. Something I had longed to do with a romantic partner but never had the company. Holding hands and walking in the streets of NYC was a very new experience for me, one in which I was trying to get used to since I was always so use to being on my own. As we learned more about each other I think we both realized we indeed had very different upbringings which led to differences that would not mesh in the future. I think we both knew it would never work out between us. As he left me that day, we kissed and he told me to call him later on in the week. I called him and never heard back from him again. I couldn’t believe that someone who seemed to be so sensitive and understanding didn’t have the decency to call back. I was distraught for two weeks over this guy, but found more strength while reading the book, “Your Not That Into Him Either.”
|
Meanwhile, I received a very sweet email from a Parisian gentleman. I had been concentrating on the “Runner” and I hadn’t been able to give him the proper attention. Honestly, I was hesitant in writing the Parisian because it was almost like looking at me. He seemed so kind, loved movies, was artistic, wanted someone to cuddle with and also had a robust body. I felt like I had been trying to avoid my fate of falling in love with someone who had enjoyed eating as much as I did and whose body showed that love. However, there was something pulling me towards him because he was exactly what I was looking for. His emails were so tender and filled with romantic sincerity. I felt as if I was meeting my other half. He has even called me from France. It has been two months since I’ve first started corresponding with him and we write to each other nearly everyday. We care for each other deeply and I always looking forward to hearing from him. I could see myself falling in love with him. While we will meet soon face-to-face, I treasure getting to know him and the support he gives me from afar.
As for me, I lost 16 lbs. since meeting the runner and will continue to lose. I’m learning to control my emotional eating from years of thinking I wasn’t good enough for a mate to love me. The Jordan years are now over replaced with limitless dating possibilities, despite and because of my current weight. I’m learning to find something else to do other than eat in times of despair. It’s an ongoing struggle and one I intend to fight and conquer. I’ve tasted the fruits of love and it is quite savory. Thin or heavy, I’m going to have fun meeting all sorts of interesting men. Perhaps one day in the future, I’ll be spending my summers in Europe, with my romantic, Parisian Johnny Castle. Maybe you’ll also unveil your self-doubt and find your curvy self-doing the same...
|
