• Do I tend to say YES to family or social events that I would rather not attend? Yes or No
• Do I allow my schedule to be run by others rather than myself? Yes or No
• Do I allow family or friends to frustrate me more than usual during this time of year? Yes or No
• Do I have unmet needs that I do not express to others? Yes or No
• Do I tend to allow my emotions to rule by behavior? Yes or No
• Is it hard for me to understand why people do the things they do? Yes or No

If you answer Yes to more than 3 of these questions, you may be setting yourself up for frustration during this hectic time of year.  Here are a few ways you can REALISTICALLY maneuver this season.

Scheduling:  Be REALISTIC about your commitments.  If friends or family ask you to attend a party, let them know that you need to check your commitments.  It sounds better than I’ll check my schedule.  If you are checking your commitments they will understand if you are already committed and it may be hard for you to attend.

Also, take a REALISTIC look at your time, make sure not to over schedule so you become tired, cranky and even sick.  It’s better to miss an event or two than to end up sick or upset.  If there are conflicting events and you must over schedule then make sure the next day or so you give yourself a rest.  Prioritize you schedule, just because you are asked doesn’t mean you must attend.  Sending regret cards is a nice way to say, “you are important to me” and unfortunately I cannot attend.

Personality Styles:  This is very important to understand all year long but especially during this season.  If you meet your own needs and try your best to meet the needs of others, your life will be much more enjoyable. Have you ever said to yourself…What were they thinking?  Or Why did you do that?  Or What would make them think or do that?

Well if you have, this will help you understand why people do the things they do and why they act the way they act.  Bottom line is that they are meeting a need they have and it might not be the need you have.

There are many different philosophies about Personality Styles; some writers explain them in the form of colors, animals or words.  Most of them teach Personality Styles in four different areas.  In my many years of studying Personality Styles, this is the easiest one to remember Driver’s need CONTROL, Expressive’s need FUN, Analytical’s need PERFECTION, Amiable’s need PEACE.  These are important for their happiness and their ability to function well.  When you understand this innate need you can REALISTICALLY understand what to expect from others.

There are both strengths and weaknesses in each area. One is not better than the other, just like hair color, size or skin color, it is just who we are.

As you take a look at these Personality Styles identify yourself, if you have a challenge deciding, ask a close friend for some input.  Understanding your Personality Style and that of others, will help you to make sure your needs are being met as well as understanding why people act and react in a certain way. If a Driver does not feel they have control in their lives, they will act out and not be pleasant to be around; if an Amiable does not get peace, they will probably withdraw; if an Analytical does not have order they can tend to become unreasonable; if an Expressive don’t have fun, they will flake out and go find a party.  If you want to study more on Personality Styles go to any search engine and type in Personality Styles and you can read and take online tests to see where you fall and also how to understand others.

Remember, understanding how w are does not give us the right to say “Well that’s just the way I am”, we need to learn how to work in our strengths and work on our weaknesses.

Take time to honor yourself by being REALISTIC about what you can and cannot do, who you can please and when it replaces pleasing yourself.