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INTIMATE REACTIONS
by wendy beth cohen


Virgin Territory

1992: 161 lbs -- 2005: 261 lbs

(Story continued from our Premiere Issue.
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to view the first installment)

With a summer glow from my first intense romance, I tried to put my body doubt aside and believe I was beautiful and attractive.  Then, along came, Jordan... 

On the first day of college, first year students were grouped together.  While we were all sitting in a circle and introducing ourselves, I looked up and had an instant jolt of energy pass through my body and I thought, "Could this be love at first sight?"  Jordan was this very handsome, funny, charming guy who I just knew was going to break my heart -- looking back, maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

We came from the same area on Long Island and grew up with similar work ethics, family values and sense of humor. We quickly became best friends and he instantly befriended my family because he and my father are very similar in many ways. 

With his charm and good looks, Jordan looked for beautiful girls and often found them.  It hurt me deeply that he would scout out the hottest girls in the school while never even considering me as a viable option. I blamed my weight severely.  As we became closer and went out on “friendship dates,” which he didn’t do with the other girls, I began to build a lot of resentment towards him and the pretty thin girls he dated. 

Through the years, Jordan has inspired me, excited me, treated me well and took care of me all the while never being intimate with me. That feeling hurt deeply over the course of nine years. I don’t know if I’ll ever cease wondering, "What if..." But thankfully I stopped waiting for "What if" and looked for romance elsewhere.

One night while on a dating site online, a very cute guy contacted me.  He was attractive, thin and extremely interested in me.  Online we had an extreme chemistry for one another and everyday for 3 weeks we corresponded.  He wanted to meet me desperately but I gave him many excuses on why I could not see him. Honestly, having never been courted this ardently; I was enjoying the attention and didn’t want to lose it if he had discovered I was curvy.  At this point in time, I was my heaviest. Because of this, I never had any intention of meeting him. 

 

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But, between his persistence and my curiosity he got the best of me and I finally decided to meet him.  I was surprisingly comfortable the night we met -- excited but not nervous.  As I greeted him at the door, I was comforted to know that while he was thin, he was actually much shorter than I imagined he would be and not as good-looking as his picture.  I felt much more comfortable.  We ended up having a wonderful time together and through the course of our relationship, he took my virginity. 

As far as my virginity goes -- surprisingly, I felt emptier once the deed was done.  I thought, "That’s it? This was the mystery of sex?"  It wasn’t the "Johnny Castle/Baby experience" I thought it would be.  In retrospect, I nearly regretted it because I didn’t wait for the love of my life. But if I did wait, I feared I would have waited forever. 

Ultimately I discovered that we clicked on a physical level, but not emotionally.  I hadn’t realized that both were really important. It was time to move on...

Stay tuned for the next installment!

 

 

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about wendy beth cohen

Wendy has worked as a Fashion Sales Executive for well-known women's apparel brands. While at Tahari, she turned a childhood dream into reality by managing and growing a plus size suit division. She majored in Entrepreneurship and Marketing at Babson College, MA. And in June 2000, Entrepreneur Magazine named her one of the "Leaders of the next generation of entrepreneurs." Wendy, a lover of good times, good friends and good company, as well as savory New York City meals lives in Manhattan.

wendy beth cohen

 


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